What in the world has happened to me?
by Patricia
What in the world has happened to me
I’m nothing like the person I once used to be
I stumble around like a drunk in the dark
I fall on the ground in the lot where I park.
I slur all my words like a person on dope
I cry in the night and pray God gives me hope.
I doubt myself ‘cause the diagnosis is not clear
I hide from my friends and wish I could just disappear.
I am angry inside ‘cause my kids have a sick mother
I am angry inside ‘cause I have a sick brother.
They say it’s probably MS and will one day be clear
What should I do til that day magically appears?
I have all the symptoms the numbness and pain
But no lesions appear on my MRI of the brain.
The doc says it’s “benign” as if that’s a gift
No words can erase the misery and my spirits don’t lift.
Try walking around in the hazy, humid summer heat
When you don’t have muscle strength to lift up your feet.
Try not to feel guilty when your spouse touches you
And you cannot feel pleasure like you used to do.
Try not feeling stupid when you can’t find your words
And the person you speak to looks at you like you’re absurd.
Try not to fall as you walk down the stairs
And pray when you worsen Someone close will still care.
Give thanks to God when you have a good spell.
And pray for your peers with MS to be well.
Don’t give up hope
There is still joy in life
Try to fight this
With all of your might.
Remember, there are thousands of people like you.
Take comfort in knowing we are praying for you, too.
Pain is fleeting
Love is divine
Take comfort in laughter
And try not to whine.
It’s hard to explain the feelings this disease has to give
God bless you and keep you
Remember this is your life to live.
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