Here's to life!

By Lisa

My vision's gone funny, my feet've gone numb;
So why should I sigh 'bout the size of my bum?

The bra straps are pinching, the waistbands are straining;
Hey, pour me a Smirnoff and I ain't complaining!

There's chips, mushy peas and there's fish in crisp batter;
So what do an extra two chins or three matter?

My legs get so tired and my back aches like hell;
So fry up the bangers and bacon as well!

Roll out the steaks and the chops and the spuds;
Fanfare the biscuits, the cakes and the puds!

Yah to the fruit and boo to the veg;
Cut me some Brie - a nice, big, fat wedge!

Melt it on toast, a-smothered in butter;
"Oooh, you great heiffer!", I hear you all mutter!

There's vodka and lager, there's rum and there's coke;
And after a skinful there's always a smoke!

Pass me my glass and my plate and my fork;
And I can forget I have trouble to walk!

Bring on the champagne, we'll have nothing less;
Cheers! Here's to life and to hell with MS!